Me and my nephew

Sleepless night again

I’m walking around with these glossy eyes,”I’m just tired”I say, but you know what? It’s bullshit.yes I’m tired but it’s not all from lack of sleep.i am tired from waking up with nothing to look forward to,tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things I find no enjoyment in doing.im tired of feeling this void, this tired that looms over me even though my days are packed.I’m tired of the loneliness that presses down on me even though I’m surrounded by dozens of ppl. So why can’t I just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other eyes and say ” I am unhappy,I am broken, fragile and fallible”I’ve been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness,loneliness with unworthiness,difference with disease,as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared.well I say screw all that. Fuck forced smiles and polite handshakes, and” I’m fine, thank you”screw the fear of crying in a public place,screw the fake chipper voice,fuck the lies we spit out to hide our real problems.i am human.i am meant to feel everything and to feel it all openly.i am not metal, I am flesh and bone.my boiled blood forces through my cold clammy hands I am intricate and beautiful and I should never try to hide my human parts, because if I do what’s left to show?

Hello cruel world,

It’s raining hard and I don’t even care,
The lightning crashes and it doesn’t scare,
The wind is howling and it blows and grows,
And it’s getting to me through my clothes,

Hello cruel world nice of you to stop in,
Couldn’t wait til tomorrow to show your ugly grin
Hello cold world I’ve been waiting for you
And let me tell you it’s one hell of a view
Hello cruel world

I don’t want to say that it matters cause it doesn’t and I’m not doing this anymore,
And I’ll never let you in no matter how hard you try I’ll push you away and walk ahead and leave you behind.
I’ll leave you behind.

Hello cruel world nice of you to stop in,
Couldn’t wait til tomorrow to show your ugly grin
Hello cold world I’ve been waiting for you
And let me tell you it’s one hell of a view
Hello cruel world

The sun comes out its just another day,
I hear the kids outside as they run and play,
And everyone’s smiles are as fake as their words,
So I shut them out with one slam of the door.

Hello cruel world nice of you to stop in,
Couldn’t wait til tomorrow to show your ugly grin
Hello cold world I’ve been waiting for you
And let me tell you it’s one hell of a view
Hello cruel world

So here we are face to face
Mouth to mouth
Taste to taste
So here we are no lies between
No place to go no cause for a scene

Hello cruel world nice of you to stop in,
Couldn’t wait til tomorrow to show your ugly grin
Hello cold world I’ve been waiting for you
And let me tell you it’s one hell of a view
Hello cruel world