02/03/13-#2

You don’t know how close I come to driving by your home
Just to catch a glimpse of you but fear of the unknown
Keeps me from acting crazy, obsessive
Thoughts I keep at bay
Knowing it would only push you away
Knowing if I saw you with her
Nothing could tame that hurt
Ignorance is better
Pretending there’s nothing wrong
Writing it down helpsmy heart to learn
Life is unpredictable
With love comes hate
Smiles, tears
Joy, pain
It’s a never ending cycle
Ill get through this
Once my blurred vision becomes clear
Once my eyes dry from these damn tears
I almost do a lot of things
I want to I really do
Everytime I stop myself it gets harder
No reply when I text you
Pushes the knife deeper
Waiting for a sign a glimmer of hope
I have to confess I did this to you
Pushed you away the same
If this is my punishment ive served my time
Learned my lesson I just want another try
If you hate me let me know
Without that I can’t let go
I’m not playing games now
I’m fighting for my life
I’ve cleaned up the mess I made
How can you go from loving me
To not even saying goodbye
I see pictures and your smiling
I guess it’s good you can move on so quickly
And leave me behind picking up the pieces
Of what’s left of my broken heart
I thought id been down this road before
Thought I’d learned not to let anyone in
With walls broke down
I’m thinking of leaving this town
Im so done I’m over this thing love
It isn’t worth the pain
All it does is drain
The life from my chest
And even at its best
It’s just a mystery