02/03#3

Feeling black right now
A void an emptiness which longs to be filled
With anything good or bad
I’ve been working soo hard to stay away from unhealthy vices
Been clean for a few months now
It’s a different feeling,,reality
I tried to stay away from you but your quicksand
The more I try to break free the deeper i fall
I tried to jump off but changed my mind after I let go
Too late to turn back now
Just gotta watch as I come closer to the ground
Everything’s in slow motion
That sickening feeling before the crash
The colors drained from my face its ash
The flames burn the rags I’m wearing
Standing naked nothing to hide my shame
Looking for anything to remind me you were real
A lost sock a piece a paper you wrote on
Something you left behind
How can i keep all this locked inside
Never let him know all these feelings I have for him
I had to learn to be strong
Let them think I can keep it together
When inside I’m really a mess
The blades call my name but I pretend I don’t hear
I don’t want them to give me release from this fear
If I close my eyes I can escape this dance
For the devil is a hard leader to follow
Free my soul let me breathe
I’m suffocating the air is thick
He doesn’t know how much he took
He didn’t know how hard it was to let him in
I walk in my bedroom the air is cold
I guess that comes with being alone
I still have that recording
Of us talking to ghosts
Of us being silly
Just being me and you
I listen when I’m having a bad day
End up laughing remembering how much I loved you
I bet you always knew you’d leave
Time will erase this emptiness that you left
This cut will heal but the scar will remind of better days long gone
Of a time when we were singing the same song