Why are you still here

I’m going crazy again
Hearing voices inside of my head
Controlling my every move
Throwing things across the room

I’m ready to run again
Ready to put it all to an end
Give me a gun I can pull the trigger
Turn everything black with one move of my finger

No tears will fall down tonight
I’m running on empty, dried up inside
I want to erase all this shame
Give them more but I’m causing them pain

You don’t get to call me a failure
You can’t judge the wrongs that I’ve done
You broke me and left me with nothing
I did what had to be done

Finished creating a monster inside me
Out of the cage now she’s looking for blood
Chains couldn’t bind the torment she brings me
Resistance is futile when I’m not in your arms

Two dead bodies rotting together
Ones buried deep, one wakes every day
Empty hearts looking for something
Anything to make this nothing go away

My thoughts are so dark at this moment
My adrenaline is running full force
Erasing all evidence I existed
Throwing away what I should be living for

Realizing isn’t half of this battle
I don’t care if you think I’m insane
You don’t feel the reality I live in
Wouldn’t understand if I was able to explain

Shaking the hourglass, make it go quicker
Open my mouth but there’s only whispers
Dreading tomorrow I haven’t had sleep
Hope I can make it through one more week

Underestimated my minds brutal power
Been trampled upon like a beautiful flower
Treason myself to this game I can’t win
Ill be all alone when it comes to an end

Resist the temptation to flee from the pain
Get out from the cover go into the rain
Dive deep in the water go under the waves
Absorb my apologies like drops of ink on a page

4 Responses to “Why are you still here”

  1. This aches to read. I can’t imagine how it felt to write.

  2. Serena Says:

    It sure does reach very deeply and darkly to get to the core

  3. Anna Says:

    Is your poems copy written because if not you need them to be they r good.

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