Devils advocate

Where’s a hand I’m reaching out
I can’t find strength i scream and shout
Just want a shoulder to cry on
No ones here so ill just go on
Living hours, seconds, moments
Looking for someone but they never come
When I say I’m just deluded
You just laugh don’t see behind it
I’m not dying on the outside
But inside I’m full of disease
Slowly eating my ambition
Quickly putting me on my knees
Grasping, clawing, hunting
For a way out of this pit
But it’s dark and I am blinded
By the void that on my lips
It’s to late to say your sorry
Have my name engraved in stone
And it’s calling me to lay down
Six feet under where I belong
I hope you soon forget me
Hope what you left for was worth my life
Cause I’m fading only weeks left
Got my plan and it is just right
So before I close this chapter
Write the end and put it down
I just wanted once to let you
Realize how much you let me down
I don’t care if tears you splatter
On the ground right on my grave
It’s to late for you to come back
And I wouldn’t want you anyway
You tore my heart out completely
Left me desperate, confused
When I tried to put it back together
All I did was re-abuse
I’m not asking for forgiveness
I won’t care bout that anymore
Ill be living in a different hell
I traded this one for