Archive for the feelings of a btoken heart Category

Posted in feelings of a btoken heart, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on 05/01/2013 by Forever_Broken

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You broke me
I realize this now
I didn’t understand why I was having problems
But it all makes sense to me now
Glueing back together
The pieces on the ground
The shards they cut so deeply
To many to count they all cannot be found
Loneliness is something I live with
Though my house has many inside
Put on a facade they don’t know what I’m wearing
They never see the tears that I hide
Desperate to feel something
Other than this bleakness you left me in
Try to write down to figure out reasons
But there’s not enough ink in my pen
Cannot speak in the language your using
My dialect is foreign to you
Dictionaries don’t have correct meanings
Nothing I say can make sense to you
Your hold is a vice around my heart
Tighter it grows with each gasping breath
I pretend to be somewhere far away
Drive myself to where you’d always stay
Look for your eyes in the faces of strangers
Hear your voice growing weaker
Feel your touch from a distant memory
Grasp for the chance to open you up to me
How I want to run but would you go with me
I’d go anywhere if you promised you never leave
It’s been months but I still believe
That you are the one who was made for me
Desperate for truth I seek out the answer
Looking for ways to get past all your laughter
I’m just a grain of sand on a beach full of pebbles
Replaced so easily I understand
That the words that you said they meant nothing to you
How quickly I fell for the lie I believed was you
You should get an award
you did what no one else could do
It’s been a living hell with the absence of you
Didn’t get a goodbye just a pocket of tears
Didn’t get to hold on to anything
But a life full of regrets
Cleaning out my closet
Boxing things I’d think they’d want
Little pieces worth nothing
To remember the person they lost
I’m Slowly putting it all together
The plans coming to an end
Living is the death of me
And this they don’t understand

Just Another Birthday

Posted in feelings of a btoken heart, poetry,personal writing, Uncategorized with tags , on 12/19/2012 by Forever_Broken

no candles to blow out,no presents to open,no song for my ears,although theyre wide open
no smile on my face,no love in my heart ,no hand to hold mine although my fingers are spread apart
its raining outside,its a cold,dark night,,and once again im starting to cry
I hate this new me,I hate my new life,and sometimes i wish that I would just die
you know I would join you if it wasnt for them,,be there in a heartbeat and have no regrets
theres nothing without you yes,nothing at all,,since your not here to catch me all I do is fall
darkess surrounds me lonliness haunts me sleep eludes me time binds me
hurry up now,why are the days soo long,why when i care does the sand barely fall?
if only i could wake up from this sick twisted dream,see the sun shining be back to me
id love you til forever,still i promise you that there will never be anyone worth more to me than you
i realise i have problems but theres not a pill for me to make me feel all better im forever broken dont you see
i think ill just go to sleep and dream of you instead ,every minute that passes im closer to the edge
im not afraid to fall off,hell ill run and jump,take the plunge and go head first and meet you at the end
if your reading this then you know its not for you,and im probably already there,wherever it is where dreams come true
so dont you cry for me,im not in any pain,im reunited with my love and wouldnt have it any other way.
im sure your gonna miss me,i would miss me too (lmao)but im looking down and coming around to see my babies too
Ill let you know I with you,I will definately give you a sign,and I dont care what mom or dad thinks, ill come back to tell you bye
i would never leave you hanging,he comes to me at times,sais my name,in my dreams,and when i sit and cry
gives me peace when i am lonely,gives me strength to carry on,gives me hope for tomorrow
gives me a shoulder to lean on
i be there in yur flowers,plant some white ones just for me,Ill help them grow and then youll know i think that will make you happy,
flowers from heaven,thats a thought,ive already planted a few,and the life we built has still stood strong,its all because of you.I miss you when im sleeping,even more when im awake,but theres never ever a moment when I cannot see your face.

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Endlessly awake

Posted in feelings of a btoken heart, poetry,personal writing, Uncategorized with tags on 12/18/2012 by Forever_Broken

Insomnia makes you feel so detached from the world.
It’s a weird lonely bubble that I can’t leave, but no one else can enter. And I’m trapped there all night until society deems it acceptable for people to be awake again.
It pops when it gets to morning, and I fall back into the normal world. But I’m left disorientated and unable to fit back in, constantly feeling dazed and wrong, watching everyone else get on with life.
And then nighttime comes and I’m relegated once again to a solitary confinement where I’m forced to stay conscious. Just me, myself and a sad brain, too tired to form either coherent or positive thoughts.