Stuck in a fog

I want to go
Anywhere but here
Get away from this fog
I need the air to be clear
I need to find forgiveness
I need some room to breathe
I need resuscitation
Lift me off of my knees
My bones they are so brittle
My skin is shallow grey
My eyes don’t shine like they use to
My voice does nothing but break
A place where the sun shines daily
Where laughter always flows freely
Future is promising
People are inspiring
Thats what I need.

I say whats on my mind
I talk to much
Takes skill to win at life
No need for luck
I cry because I’m mad I’m not in pain
Always outside-hide it in the rain

I’ll help you survive
I’ll take your hand
Never let go and I understand
How you feel we are on the same page
I’ll take the night watch you can have the day
Abandoned is what you’ll never be
Alone is not a word you’ll learn to read
Scars will disappear you have my word
Never will you again feel insecure

That would be nice
Don’t you think
If this fog wasn’t so dense
And a place existed that made such sence

Bloodstain on your hands-song attempt

Vrs.1
My heart had been broken
Torn into two
Never again to feel love flowing through
Thought I could handle
Weighed all the costs
Opened myself risking all that I got

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.2
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
That no matter what you would always be here
Glued back the pieces
Healed all the scars
Only to shatter what was left of my heart

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.3
I thought you were perfect
Believed all your lies
Never imagined was just a matter of time
Till you slipped through my hands
Like sand on a beach
I really hope she’s every thing that you need

Break:
I find it hard to breathe without you
I’m on the edge and ready to jump
I only want one time to touch you
But that’s asking far to much

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Your covered in my bloodstains
And you pushed me off the ledge

07/23/13

Little girl you grew so quickly
Seems like things have changed soo much
From the dreams you wished that could be
From the innocence of love

Little child don’t you shed tears
For in you there was such hope
Although the storms are raging bitter
Your not quite at the end of your rope

Beautiful stranger I thought I knew you
For we use to share one mind
But somehow I guess I lost you
Sands run out, there’s no more time

Unbreakable spirit that you once had
Untouchable plans that never came through
So close to having it perfected
Until fate decided to spew

Despise not my foolish ambitions
I tried to hear your voice deep inside
Against my will you faded completely
I couldn’t keep you even if I had tried

But each day I look in the mirror
Hidden deep down inside of me
I see your reflection distinctly
Wish I knew how to set you free

Yet we are both still here
The time has not yet come for our demise
Though darkness is ever near
This too will pass it’s only a guise

When I lost him that’s when I lost me
I try to hide it from a world that doesn’t understand
Everything I knew and loved was taken away
A memory of a life that used to be planned

I speak quietly now in a whisper
My chest closes and it’s soo hard to breathe
Why can’t this feeling be fleeting?
Without bringing me to my knees?

To remain socially invisible
Only seen by eyes like my own
Reality gone living in illusions
Afraid nothing’s left unknown

My mind tramples my words as they come out
Changes the course of my fate
I thought I was done, decided to bow out
And I had even set a date

Cursing the sun that shows imperfections
Provides ammunition to fuel the desire
Remaining unhinged despite the deceptions
Blowing the smoke from my burning cigar

If you hear me, I’m calling, I’m begging
Suck this poison out of my brain
Your the one thing I still believe in
Please make it all go away

Frightened, alone, and abandoned
Curtains closing, my eyes growing dim
Underneath pretense, your merely a shadow
A reminder of what could have been

Take this burden from me
Faltering words won’t come at all
Convince me that there is someone
Waiting down there to cushion the fall

For every fragment that was dug out from me
And every wound with its blood pouring down
Torched my dreams and the ashes are dissipating
My last ragged breath produces no sound