Bloodstain on your hands-song attempt

Vrs.1
My heart had been broken
Torn into two
Never again to feel love flowing through
Thought I could handle
Weighed all the costs
Opened myself risking all that I got

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.2
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
That no matter what you would always be here
Glued back the pieces
Healed all the scars
Only to shatter what was left of my heart

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.3
I thought you were perfect
Believed all your lies
Never imagined was just a matter of time
Till you slipped through my hands
Like sand on a beach
I really hope she’s every thing that you need

Break:
I find it hard to breathe without you
I’m on the edge and ready to jump
I only want one time to touch you
But that’s asking far to much

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Your covered in my bloodstains
And you pushed me off the ledge

Stupid me

Your more than a memory
I hear you every day
See your face in all the photos
Words you wrote me haunt my brain
Stay awake so I don’t see you
Cause you visit every dream
Tore down every photo
Lit up all those letters
Turned to ashes every page
Matched your clothes
Watched them burn away
Doesn’t matter if I’m happy
If I’m sad it’s still the same
Feel the tide overwhelming
Pushing every breath out of my lips
It’s getting dark I’m going under
Don’t know which way is up
Panic has riddled my body
Caused my mind to become corrupt
Pulled the blinds down over the windows
Threw my phone against the wall
Desperately seeking a solution
Ignoring all of the calls
Remember how we promised
That we’d love until the end
Broken and shattered is how you left me
I thought you were so much better than him
You made me open my heart up
Something I swore was closed for good
You played me like a puppet
Then burned me like a pile of wood

Changing tides

There’s a space-been erased in my heart that’s hollow
Memories dissipate-can’t retrace or foresee tomorrow
Taken back to the days where our love never knew sorrow
Now your gone-slipped away-there’s no trail to follow

Fought to breathe-left for dead
Yesterday haunts me in my head
Giving up-letting go
Taking back promises I told

I’m almost cutting the rope
Not holding on to false hope
Insatiable is your hold
Can’t reword what’s already told

Incurable disease is eating away my soul
Distressed actions flow forth from what hasn’t been sold
Waiting, biding my time til I’m numb from the cold
Tearing apart the reasons that never were told
Kiss me with your lifeless lips
Let me enter in that void
Fallen off flesh-my hands are stained
Keep me here til I’m destroyed

Hold me down no room to breathe
Carve into my body I won’t scream
Tracks I lay upon and wait for the rattle
No second thoughts turning back now is futile
Empty hollow voids where my eyes use to be
Heightened sense of feeling with my fingers I can see
Parade of fools where are they going
Bound tightly to their cause
If they think that love’s the answer
When they lose it, they will starve
Come undone, forgive the wrongs
Put a crown upon your head
You wear it well, your chest swells
But your living in a cell
A prison without a key
Soon you’ll see- don’t laugh to loud
He’ll come to take your smile
Life’s not fair and you’ll be scared
When the reaper comes to tear
Your castle down
Don’t cry those tears in front of me
I told you all along
Put the words into a rhythm and sang them into a song
So now you want to hear me
Need some advice from me to you?
Then listen up-I’m saying it quick
Don’t blink twice or you will miss

Whispering echoes linger on my ear
His voice, his touch, I can get so very near
The air turns cold yet a fire burns in me
Knowing all that’s left is all there’ll ever be
I cut my hair I cut my arms
Wrap them up gotta hide the harm
Relinquish your claim
It’s dark inside here
I’m convulsing from this anger
I want to remember who I use to be
I need release to be set free
Please don’t be mad
I love you so
No love left for me, that debt I still owe

08/12/13

Return the light you stole from me
Remove the blindfold I cannot see
You left me here to walk alone
You destroyed the place I knew as home
Listened to my silence
knowing there was pain
Haunted every memory
seemed my loss was your gain
Has it been easy
to go off on your own
Was I replaceable
so easy to disown
You promised you’d never leave me
Actually believed I had nothing to fear
You pulled me from the treacherous currant
Just to watch me drown in my tears
You saved me from my own destruction
Emptied the bullets out of my gun
Then gave me over to a slower corruption
Sharpened the blades so they’d pour out my blood
I didn’t want to come here
Knew too well the price that I’d paid
The only thing standing when I lost all before
Was my body without a name
Couldn’t find in the mirror
Any sign I was here
Couldn’t find my way back to this world
Stuck somewhere between here and there
Ink still wet
Words held back
And though your voice is silenced
I can still hear your song
No longer in my arms
Last breath come and gone

Changing tides

There’s a space-been erased in my heart that’s hollow
Memories dissipate-can’t retrace or foresee tomorrow
Taken back to the days where our love never knew sorrow
Now your gone-slipped away-there’s no trail to follow

Fought to breathe-left for dead
Yesterday haunts me in my head
Giving up-letting go
Taking back promises I told

I’m almost cutting the rope
Not holding on to false hope
Insatiable is your hold
Can’t reword what’s already told

Incurable disease is eating away my soul
Distressed actions flow forth from what hasn’t been sold
Waiting, biding my time til I’m numb from the cold
Tearing apart the reasons that never were told
Kiss me with your lifeless lips
Let me enter in that void
Fallen off flesh-my hands are stained
Keep me here til I’m destroyed

Hold me down no room to breathe
Carve into my body I won’t scream
Tracks I lay upon and wait for the rattle
No second thoughts turning back now is futile
Empty hollow voids where my eyes use to be
Heightened sense of feeling with my fingers I can see
Parade of fools where are they going
Bound tightly to their cause
If they think that love’s the answer
When they lose it, they will starve
Come undone, forgive the wrongs
Put a crown upon your head
You wear it well, your chest swells
But your living in a cell
A prison without a key
Soon you’ll see- don’t laugh to loud
He’ll come to take your smile
Life’s not fair and you’ll be scared
When the reaper comes to tear
Your castle down
Don’t cry those tears in front of me
I told you all along
Put the words into a rhythm and sang them into a song
So now you want to hear me
Need some advice from me to you?
Then listen up-I’m saying it quick
Don’t blink twice or you will miss

Whispering echoes linger on my ear
His voice, his touch, I can get so very near
The air turns cold yet a fire burns in me
Knowing all that’s left is all there’ll ever be
I cut my hair I cut my arms
Wrap them up gotta hide the harm
Relinquish your claim
It’s dark inside here
I’m convulsing from this anger
I want to remember who I use to be
I need release to be set free
Please don’t be mad
I love you so
No love left for me, that debt I still owe

I Can’t Forget

How do you do that?
Make me forget.
Take me to somewhere I’ve been before,
But it’s been so long that I forgot.
Do you feel it when you touch me?
The chills run across my skin.
Desire is overwhelming,
I can’t resist letting you in.
Speak my name slowly,
I want to soak it in.
It’s a warm place of shelter,
when I’m facing the bitter winds.
Keep my eyes open, I want to remember,
as I fall into your arms so strong,
your body moves to mine like a mirror.
Like we’ve been entwined all along.
Forgive me for my dirty confessions.
You don’t know what you do to me.
Turn me into an animal.
Clawing your back,setting blood free.
Eternally damned, now I’ve tasted your love.
Fighting for bondage, I don’t want to be released.
Keep you here forever, explore the unseen.
Naked, only you have put my fears at ease.
Starving for your flesh,
I cannot get enough.
Touch every part of my being.
I don’t want us to part.
Time has passed but feelings still alive.
Perhaps it was something different in your mind.
I only wish you could come over now.
Commitments I couldn’t make; I can give now.
Shouldn’t have went down memory lane.
I forgot how much this hurts.
It’s probably not even worth,
turning letters into words.
But for now,, I can’t forget.

No one is home

Take me somewhere far away from here
To a place where you can’t see my fear
Give up the life which has been chosen for me
I resign it all i just want to be free
Never resisted enticing temptations
Embraced a stranger in my bed
Gave up my body for a moment of pleasure
And I’d do it all over again
Tie up and bind me
Don’t leave any give
Mute my voice from my pleading
You don’t need me to forgive
Carve into my skin let the red flow
Until only the ugly shows
You enjoy my demise
Everything you say is lies
But it makes things alright
Take this deep into the night
When my tears stop flowing
It only means the pain is growing
And there’s no way your knowing
This is exactly what I need
Out of control I speak in riddles
Don’t make sense like the cat and the fiddle
Create a monster I have very little
My self esteem has already been belittled
Hands on my neck if they squeeze any tighter
Will put out the flames that only grow brighter
Too many drugs can’t get any higher
Forgot what I cannot seem to remember
Eyes open wide no sleep for the weary
Music is loud drowns out the voices I’m hearing
Conversations with myself no one is listening
Phone keeps ringing but I won’t be answering
No one is home tonight

Dancing in the light of candles

Dancing in the light of candles
Sending a shadow against the wall
Swaying to the beat of the music
Closing my eyes forgetting it all
I was right all along
We were dancing to different songs
I’m up for anything to take away this pain
Walking on the wrong side of town
Inviting un welcomed strangers
Pressing the knife against my throat
If it pierces any deeper
Everything inside will spill out to the ground
Digging my grave, my shovel gets duller
My muscles ache, I can’t see any clearer
The life I live ended empty not fuller
As my blood flows out, I’m feeling much cooler
My breaths are erratic and shallow
It’d be quicker to swing from the gallows
But who would cut me down
There’s no one around
Everyone looks and stares
With hatred in their glares
Pleased to know I’m pained
As if my loss is their gain
They tell me I’m going insane
What could they possibly know
My mind is something I loathe
Wakes me up from peaceful dreams
To repeat seeing unspeakable things
Mistakes I cannot correct
Gave away my soul, no taking it back
Walked away when I should have clung on
Spewed out words
Aimed at you like a song
Made you forget why you loved me all along
Free falling without pulling the cord
Feeling the rush as I knock on death’s door
Writing goodbyes were never easier to do
Taking my time there’s a lot to get through
Hopefully my memory will be more favored than my life
Sometimes it seems it takes a wrong to make a right
Going through the motions these last few days
Making sure all ends are tied up so no one feels them self to blame
It just isn’t worth it
Living here without you now
I don’t know how
I’ve followed their advice
Threw the ring away-no longer a wife
Danced with death
Not two times but thrice
Corrupted my body with poisons and vices
Seen ghosts in my room
Been utterly severely frightened
Got down on my knees
Prayed to God up above
Begged him to send me someone to love
But I ruined that too
Must be the thing that I do
Turn a diamond into coal
Climb a mountain end up in a hole
Stole my sanity
Put a spell on my heart
Freedom only comes with a knife to my heart
Wish I could tell you
Wish I could explain
But you gave up long ago
And myself is the one to blame
I need to stop rambling
Write something that makes sense
But if your confused in reading this
Than your probably in my head
Humans are only capable
To a certain degree
Before there’s no more bend just a break
And I admit I’ve seen defeat
I’m baring it all
My clothes are at my feet
Don’t look/ there’s no beauty to see
Insecure doesn’t measure
How he made me feel
I wish I could have accepted you found
Pleasure but I know only lies
And it doesn’t matter how hard I’d tried
I didn’t believe I was good enough for you
But you found the one who pleases you
So that leads me to believe
I was never deceived
You would have left eventually
But the pains still real inside me
I can’t try not ever again
To ever let anyone in
To many scars,he spoke honestly when he degraded
Didn’t care about my feelings
Guess that’s why I’m so damn jaded
Whatever your doing
Whoever you love
I won’t bother you I erased your number
I might be ignorant but I’m not dumb
I hope she makes you happy
Which I’m sure she does
Could you just every once in awhile
Bring my name to your lips
Close your eyes remember how I felt on your chest
I don’t expect ill ever hear from you again
So I know now that this really is the end

Forever isn’t promised

Forever isn’t promised its a given
Ive walked through hell so there must be a heaven
Out of my reach I was far off course
Way out in left field while the ball is thrown to first
Always too late or way too early
Broke the clock against the wall just this morning
Running towards the line
Knowing ill finish last
Wanting to be your tomorrow
But already in your past
Riding with the tank on empty
Rolling the windows down
Ragged breaths come from my core
Turn the music up to drown out the sound
Putting it all on the line
Throwing dice one more time
A storm is coming the flash of light
Chills my soul as day turns night
Time to pay the piper its long overdue
Scribbled your name now it’s you they’ll sue
Read me my rights I don’t follow the rules
There’s no lock that can keep me I’ve got all the tools
Hold it together force a smile force your hand
Stake my claim while taking a stand
Tears stain my cheeks I’m a beautiful mess
Ill take your breath away with a gentle caress
Ask me the right questions and I can pass the test
Overlook all my problems and I’m better than the rest
Gaze through dirty windows and you’ll never see something clear
Toss a coin into a well and your wish isn’t any nearer
Love me now while tomorrow’s forgotten
Kiss my lips while their still ruby red
Tell me you love me while I’m able to hear
Cause I won’t care long after I’m dead

Another day

Fml,, another day another tear falls
Another screaming for you in vain
Another wishing I could start over and try this again
I thought I had it figured out
But I don’t
I don’t have shit figured out
I could hurt myself so easily right now
Bleed the pain away
That sounds so peaceful
To watch the red slip through my fingers
Not like I’d try to stop it anyways
The poison fills my soul and there’s no room for me anymore
I lost myself in trying to find who I am
Now I am a shadow
A dark being who lurks in the darkness of yesteryears, days gone by
I am not only ruining myself but also the ones I love
But I do not love really
How can I when I’m filled with such hatred
Feelings of worthlessness and failures
Where is my moment?
When I can look at the mirror with clear eyes?
When I can stand up straight and look you in the eye?
I am an empty shell
A mortal damned to forever burn in this hell
Where I hear your voice but cannot find you
Take me away
I don’t care where but get me away from here
I yearn for sleep but it eludes me
When I forget to breathe you wake me
Why not let me go
Why keep me here
They don’t need me no one needs me
I have nothing to give
I am falling apart and the pieces are broken
There is no healing
Only waking to the familiar hell every single day
One day I will draw my last breath
And not care any more.
Until then I live in a fog
I cannot see the steps I stumble and fall and as hard as it is to get up I do
I need to stop now as it could be unhealthful
By me