A hot Friday

Summers here once again,
There’s still no place to rest my head
Still smile that smile they don’t suspect
That my whole entity is a complete fucking mess
I cry behind the doors I lock
I scream at God-I’m the one He forgot
My echoes break the silent void
These blades have turned into some kind of sick toys
Giving up,,sounds easy to do
But it wouldn’t bring me any closer to you
For you’d be in heaven and I’d be in hell
For the sins I’m committing,loosing my mind as you can tell
Running out of options
And the ice is wearing thin
No ones throwing me a lifeline
Nor understands where all I’ve been
I close my eyes it’s all so peaceful
As drops fall on the ground
Only a brief moment of freedom
From the chains which have me bound
Pretend your hearing every word
Make me feel like I’m not alone
And even though my thoughts are slurred
Will you follow me into the unknown
What you see I do not share
I hide it every day
Keep my head down,work sunup to sundown
As my days are slipping away
~~L.R.~~

The way it is

there’s a hole in my heart but I stopped the bleeding,
there’s a tear in my eye and I’m barely seeing
there’s no peace in my life but I’m still believing that you will find me someday
there’s a weight on my chest and I’m suffocating
i have to fight for every breath and each one is less
dont even know if I’ll get the next and I must confess
that I get depressed,,are you looking for me?

its raining on my soul and Im drowning
trying to see land but there’s no accounting
for the hands pulling me down under the water
like an animal being led to it’s slaughter

looking for you to take me away
say you’ll never leave you’ll always stay
promise me I can believe in you
that only to me you will be true

a place where the quietness rules the night
where nightmares end and everythings right
with your arms around me holding me tight
i’d stay there forever with you

this darkness compasses my being
never satisfying my needing
“help me now”-I am pleading
take this pain away

I know you understand this thought
I know you also feel distraught
its a lost battle this fight we’ve fought
we must start over again

Ive never met you,youve never met me
but we share a bond no other can see
nor understand though its plain to see
we lean on each other’s miseries

I know how it hurts i know how you cry
I know how you long for them to hold you tight
I know when you cant face one more day
how you just keep going on in every way

they say your soo strong but I know your weak
I know you fall down onto your knees
I know how you begged for just one more chance
if only God would give you them back

But now I have to say goodbye,
put down this pen and wipe my eyes
cherish my angels and put them to bed
tuck them in and kiss their heads.