Mistakes

Your more than a memory
I hear you every day
See your face in all the photos
Words you wrote me haunt my brain
Stay awake so I don’t see you
Cause you visit every dream
Tore down every photo
Lit up all those letters
Turned to ashes every page
Matched your clothes
Watched them burn away
Doesn’t matter if I’m happy
If I’m sad it’s still the same
Feel the tide overwhelming
Pushing every breath out of my lips
It’s getting dark I’m going under
Don’t know which way is up
Panic has riddled my body
Caused my mind to become corrupt
Pulled the blinds down over the windows
Threw my phone against the wall
Desperately seeking a solution
Ignoring all of the calls
Remember how we promised
That we’d love until the end
Broken and shattered is how you left me
I thought you were so much better than him
You made me open my heart up
Something I swore was closed for good
You played me like a puppet
Then burned me like a pile of wood

Stupid me

Your more than a memory
I hear you every day
See your face in all the photos
Words you wrote me haunt my brain
Stay awake so I don’t see you
Cause you visit every dream
Tore down every photo
Lit up all those letters
Turned to ashes every page
Matched your clothes
Watched them burn away
Doesn’t matter if I’m happy
If I’m sad it’s still the same
Feel the tide overwhelming
Pushing every breath out of my lips
It’s getting dark I’m going under
Don’t know which way is up
Panic has riddled my body
Caused my mind to become corrupt
Pulled the blinds down over the windows
Threw my phone against the wall
Desperately seeking a solution
Ignoring all of the calls
Remember how we promised
That we’d love until the end
Broken and shattered is how you left me
I thought you were so much better than him
You made me open my heart up
Something I swore was closed for good
You played me like a puppet
Then burned me like a pile of wood

A hot Friday

Summers here once again,
There’s still no place to rest my head
Still smile that smile they don’t suspect
That my whole entity is a complete fucking mess
I cry behind the doors I lock
I scream at God-I’m the one He forgot
My echoes break the silent void
These blades have turned into some kind of sick toys
Giving up,,sounds easy to do
But it wouldn’t bring me any closer to you
For you’d be in heaven and I’d be in hell
For the sins I’m committing,loosing my mind as you can tell
Running out of options
And the ice is wearing thin
No ones throwing me a lifeline
Nor understands where all I’ve been
I close my eyes it’s all so peaceful
As drops fall on the ground
Only a brief moment of freedom
From the chains which have me bound
Pretend your hearing every word
Make me feel like I’m not alone
And even though my thoughts are slurred
Will you follow me into the unknown
What you see I do not share
I hide it every day
Keep my head down,work sunup to sundown
As my days are slipping away
~~L.R.~~

Silence Broken

Silence broken/ I can hear your voice
It’s just a whisper,yeah, only a little noise
Drivin me crazy/ You wake me from my sleep
Try to forget you,yet, your still in my dreams
Lift up eyes/ Where am I headed now?
Unfamiliar steps moving me backwards somehow
You will not leave/ so I pour you a drink
Time’s not the only thing your killing/tonight your victim is me
Pull me into the memories that would have come to pass
Take me further down the road we traveled/I’m starting to forget
Quench this thirst-even with your poison-you can put this all to rest
Give me something to believe in for I have nothing left
Your name flows easily off these twisted lips
Your beauty never faded/you hold me captive with your kiss
Desperately clinging to hope that isn’t real
Hiding behind my visions reach/the words I utter you steal
Fighting the need to hold you in my arms once more
Cannot break free your hold is evermore
Tearing out the pages from the book you wrote for me
One by one into the fire, I will set my own self free
Tormented in the shadow of the questions never asked
Put my will back on the shelf/where it’s been laying since you left

Poem in the dark

Is there a reason to hold on anymore?
Can there ever be something beyond all this pain?
My eyes have grown dim from the tears I hold in.
I push all aside. I don’t need this again.
I thought, just perhaps, there was beauty still waiting….
Until I began unwinding the noose.
Fire grew closer-I was breathing the fumes.
Seeing your face as you withered away.
I cannot do this.
No, not one single day.
No sleep for the weary.
No love that’s untouched.
By death’s cruel demise,
Caution is a must.
I let go of your memories,
For they only bring pain.
Making sense of this turmoil,
Emotionally, I am drained.
Blocked all your numbers,
I need not to see.
All the hurt you endure.
That’s all caused by me.
I started drifting, endlessly,
Even when I close my eyes.
Your stare haunts me.
Your memories still taunt me.
I want to speak;
To see if anyone is there.
To know if you can hear,
But my words become a puddle on the floor.
Drop by drop escaping my tired eyes,
I don’t know if I’m asleep or awake.
If I’m living or have died.
My heads on the ground.
The pain grows deeper.
My twisted way of thinking,
It is covered in black,
I can’t find my way back.
The birds have started singing.
So, I know I am not dreaming.
Another day to aimlessly travel;
Forging a life that is not my own.
No one knows.
I lie.
Hold tears inside,
No hero comes for me.
I must save myself.
But, I can hardly breathe.

Angel

She was an angel with a broken wing
You held her hand you heard her sing
You saw beyond the feathers on the ground
Made her feel like somehow she really belonged
You collected her tears when the diamonds fell
You held her up when she was falling to hell
She was your curse you were her savior
But nothing you did ever seemed to matter
For alone she sat on a distant cloud
Afraid of the height for she’d surely fall down
For wings don’t mend with time or care
And her eyes she cast down so to avoid all the stares
She wondered what it’d feel like to just let go
To hit the ground hard and not have to know
That she’d never fit in with the ones who could soar
Feel the breeze on her face or to land on the shore
So she cut off her wings and as her blood poured
She was thankful to not have to wake anymore

Song attempt??

Vrs.1
I miss your voice
It use to make me tremble
And I miss the “we”
You and I used to resemble
Not even friends
So I can’t pretend
That I’m alright (cause you know I’m not alright)

Chorus
How did you move on, forget me, wipe my kiss off of your lips?
How do I get on, run off, like you didn’t even exist?
Thank you for breaking the one part I had that wasn’t wrong
Now ill just sit here writing memories like a bad song
Like we didn’t have love at all
Like we didn’t have love at all

Vrs.2
Remember when there was meaning in the word “mine”
Did you forget when it was on our side,,time
Are you surprised that I haven’t gotten on with my life
Or just wondering why your on my mind tonight
No I’m not alright.

Break
I fell into you when I was falling for the mr.wrongs
You knew me better than I knew myself all along
I guess leaving just was something that you do
It’s killing me inside because I hon-est-ly loved you

Chorus
How did you move on, forget me, wipe my kiss off of your lips?
How do I get on, run off, like you didn’t even exist?
Thank you for breaking the one part I had that wasn’t wrong
Now ill just sit here writing memories like a bad song
Like we didn’t have love at all
Like we didn’t have love at all

Take Away My Pain

Take away my pain
Put hope in me again
The sun is shining brightly
But all I see is shadows
Closing in on me pulling me into darkness
Trying to escape but trapped in this madness
Hearing voices but I’m all alone
Feeling hands around my neck
Nervous chills all up my back
My body must know what’s coming next
Locking with chains things never to be opened
Tying in knots loose strings left undone
Paying for pleasure to pass the night quickly
Fighting lost battles that will never be won
Whispering things I never have spoken
Tiptoeing around so no one can hear
Pretending to sleep with my eyes wide open
Knowing the danger is soo very near
How to get away from these evils
that hold me
How do I turn from unhealthy existence
How can I find reason to turn life around
I want to forget, leave behind all the anger
But I’m just a pawn and its “check mate” right now
Make me believe there is something that’s coming
Tell me some lies if it’s all that you got
Throw away all your moral ambitions
And just help this poor soul that is lost.

Dancing in the light of candles

Dancing in the light of candles
Sending a shadow against the wall
Swaying to the beat of the music
Closing my eyes forgetting it all
I was right all along
We were dancing to different songs
I’m up for anything to take away this pain
Walking on the wrong side of town
Inviting un welcomed strangers
Pressing the knife against my throat
If it pierces any deeper
Everything inside will spill out to the ground
Digging my grave, my shovel gets duller
My muscles ache, I can’t see any clearer
The life I live ended empty not fuller
As my blood flows out, I’m feeling much cooler
My breaths are erratic and shallow
It’d be quicker to swing from the gallows
But who would cut me down
There’s no one around
Everyone looks and stares
With hatred in their glares
Pleased to know I’m pained
As if my loss is their gain
They tell me I’m going insane
What could they possibly know
My mind is something I loathe
Wakes me up from peaceful dreams
To repeat seeing unspeakable things
Mistakes I cannot correct
Gave away my soul, no taking it back
Walked away when I should have clung on
Spewed out words
Aimed at you like a song
Made you forget why you loved me all along
Free falling without pulling the cord
Feeling the rush as I knock on death’s door
Writing goodbyes were never easier to do
Taking my time there’s a lot to get through
Hopefully my memory will be more favored than my life
Sometimes it seems it takes a wrong to make a right
Going through the motions these last few days
Making sure all ends are tied up so no one feels them self to blame
It just isn’t worth it
Living here without you now
I don’t know how
I’ve followed their advice
Threw the ring away-no longer a wife
Danced with death
Not two times but thrice
Corrupted my body with poisons and vices
Seen ghosts in my room
Been utterly severely frightened
Got down on my knees
Prayed to God up above
Begged him to send me someone to love
But I ruined that too
Must be the thing that I do
Turn a diamond into coal
Climb a mountain end up in a hole
Stole my sanity
Put a spell on my heart
Freedom only comes with a knife to my heart
Wish I could tell you
Wish I could explain
But you gave up long ago
And myself is the one to blame
I need to stop rambling
Write something that makes sense
But if your confused in reading this
Than your probably in my head
Humans are only capable
To a certain degree
Before there’s no more bend just a break
And I admit I’ve seen defeat
I’m baring it all
My clothes are at my feet
Don’t look/ there’s no beauty to see
Insecure doesn’t measure
How he made me feel
I wish I could have accepted you found
Pleasure but I know only lies
And it doesn’t matter how hard I’d tried
I didn’t believe I was good enough for you
But you found the one who pleases you
So that leads me to believe
I was never deceived
You would have left eventually
But the pains still real inside me
I can’t try not ever again
To ever let anyone in
To many scars,he spoke honestly when he degraded
Didn’t care about my feelings
Guess that’s why I’m so damn jaded
Whatever your doing
Whoever you love
I won’t bother you I erased your number
I might be ignorant but I’m not dumb
I hope she makes you happy
Which I’m sure she does
Could you just every once in awhile
Bring my name to your lips
Close your eyes remember how I felt on your chest
I don’t expect ill ever hear from you again
So I know now that this really is the end

My words are a mirror

My words are a mirror. Reflections of me.
Forcing you to look past my face.
Unravel each clue, don’t leave out any piece.
Uncover who I really can be.
There are times when I cover with “makeup”.
The blemishes I hold inside.
There are times that I put on a
smile.
When deep down I’m crying out why?
Things I say to mask the truth,
To appear to be in control.
Forcing myself to use words I don’t feel.
So you cannot see into my soul.
Free up this twisted,wicked one,
who talks to me inside my head.
Pretend to be on top of the world,
when I’m falling off the deep end.
Say something pretty, say something nice.
Something pleasant into your ear:
There’s a rainbow so vivid, it’s a beautiful sight.
But it’s not anywhere close to here.
I could tell you of things I’ve read in books,
or heard from the wisdom of old.
I could write you a sonnet with only white keys,
’cause the black ones hold stories untold.
Dance for you in the light of a candle;
Entice you with the touch of my hands.
Warm your body under the moonlight;
Flesh upon flesh-no need for more.
Nothing to hide, leaving it all exposed.
My place of refuge, only you I hold.
What do you want from me?
I have nothing more to give.
You watched me cry in the dark.
Saw me fall to pieces.
Put them back together.
Just to walk and leave.
He messed me up.
Had some miles in hell to cross.
Put me on a pedestal-
just to disappear when I fell.
Fight for me! don’t give in.
I promise I won’t hurt you again.
Afraid of getting to close to the fire,
Douse me with flames.
I’ll prove my love is true.
Let them talk-let them stare.
What they think- I really don’t care.
Ashamed of my doubts,
I was more than afraid.
I just need you for one more day.
Teach me how to trust, I don’t know how.
Force me to demolish these walls, I unknowingly put up now.
This is new to me,
I’ve had enough.
I can only take so much.
Lead and I will follow.
Your strength I’ll have to borrow.
Your kiss deceives your feelings.
My soul you are stealing.
Lest you forget,,,