Saturday

I may not be beautiful
Or wear a size four
Don’t turn heads when I’m walking
No one opens any doors
I may not hold my head up proudly
And your eyes I’ll never meet
Cause there’s something deep inside me
POISEN spreading like disease
I won’t make much conversation
And your jokes won’t make me laugh
If a line was ever forming
I’d go straight towards the back
I’m lock inside a cage of fear
I crouch down in the dark
Cover my ears but I still hear him
His last words tear at my heart
I pushed away the one thing
That I needed most of all
Felt so safe within his presence
Knew he’d catch me if ever I’d fall
Scared he’d leave so I kept my distance
But in his arms so late at night
All the demons finally vanished
Clouds moved on
Sun shone so bright
Never will I forget to remember
Or erase the scars that show
I refuse to question the reasons
That assembled the walls that I know
But if ever a moments comes near me
When I get the chance to say
All the words that were unspoken
Were the ones that would have made you stay
I would shout them from the rooftops
Scream them out with passions unfurled
Break the silence of scared inhibitions
You’d understand the depth of my love
But I’m just a passive loner
Walking down this beaten path
Never stopping to smell the flowers
Always thinking of turning back

Pain

Why can’t it just be over already
I don’t want to say hi anymore
You smile and tell me about your family you’re seeing
I’m sitting here holding back tears
I will leave again
With my tail between my legs
Head held down strength all gone
POISEN coming out of my mouth
Presents all opened
None for me
Not that I care
There’s no one I love
He’s gone away
Can I have him wrapped in ribbons and bows
Then there would be nothing I would want anyway
Just let me be
Pill poppin away
Take away my feelings
Ready to slice, cut, anything to erase this pain
The waves crash over my head
I cannot breathe
Cannot see through the mire
The darkness hides the ugliness
Haven’t slept
Haven’t ate
Have no hugs my pain to take
Grant me this one remaining wish
Easier death than to live
Life is no gift

02/16/03

Whisper in my ear
Tell me all your secrets
Don’t be afraid to let me hear
Pull the skeletons out of your closets

Look me in the eye
Let me see deep into your soul
Every part do not deny
Let go of self control

Give all your tears to me
Let me drink them slowly in
Ill take the burden off your back
Ill forgive your every sin

Undress yourself in front of me
Slowly peel off every layer
Don’t shy away I want to see
Your beauty’s uncomparable

Open your heart unlock every part
Withhold not a beat from me
Bound by your essence I cannot depart
Nothing I do will change anything

Give me your love don’t leave me empty handed
I’m running in circles trying to find the proof
All the while, I find myself stranded
Don’t want to have to face the truth

So wont you please just whisper in my ear

A fanatacy

love can change the brightest sky,turn it into darkest night.
love can conquer any fear,love can wipe the smallest tear.
love can open many scars,love can break the hardest heart.
love can save a rainy day,love can take your breath away.

Nothing can make me forget,how you felt, how much you meant.
Nothing can be quite the same,without your love my life’s modane..
I don’t know just what to do,to get me over losing you.
I can’t go on another day,this pain inside won’t go away.

around each corner,around each bend,I’m lost,confused,insane again,
everything is soo messed up,it’s like this pain is never enough,
just keeps on comming,stronger still,time itself,it doesn’t heal,
whoever said that must not have known,a love this deep cant be resown..

I guess that how this story ends,there’s no sequel,no time to spend.
There’s just a girl that’s left alone,to face this life of hers now unknown.
She’s falling down,she’s getting up,once running free,now needs a crutch.
She waits for someone who will never come,she wastes her life like a song that’s not sung.

so I guess its best to close this book,just walk away,no second look.
Just forget the dreams she use to have,and make the best of a life gone bad.
sit in silence and say her prayers,to her God in heaven and hope He hears,
and if she’s lucky He’ll grant her wish,but knows there are ones down here she’ll miss.

But thinks it would be easier still,to let it go,and cross the veil.
and never have to make amends,to all the people she’lll hurt in the end.
Life’s not what you make it,its a thief in the night.
takes what it wants in the blink of an eye.

So,,love can change the brightest sky,turn it into darkest night.
love can conquer any fear,love can wipe the smallest tear.
love can open many scars,love can break the hardest heart.
love can save a rainy day,love can take your breath away.