Rain

I love the rain
But only on my bad days
It gives me reason to stay inside
Reason to hide away
It’s cold on my skin
Like ice from the the sky
Stinging the nerves that once were dead
Now feel very alive
I love the rain
It washes the dirt off my hands
Reaches places I ignore
Crevices I’d like to forget
My hair is drenched
As I peel off my clothing
Puddles on the floor
Creating dirty laundry

I love the rain
It takes me away
I love the rain
But only on my bad days

Bloodstain on your hands-song attempt

Vrs.1
My heart had been broken
Torn into two
Never again to feel love flowing through
Thought I could handle
Weighed all the costs
Opened myself risking all that I got

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.2
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
That no matter what you would always be here
Glued back the pieces
Healed all the scars
Only to shatter what was left of my heart

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Vrs.3
I thought you were perfect
Believed all your lies
Never imagined was just a matter of time
Till you slipped through my hands
Like sand on a beach
I really hope she’s every thing that you need

Break:
I find it hard to breathe without you
I’m on the edge and ready to jump
I only want one time to touch you
But that’s asking far to much

Chorus:
Are you happy now
When you see my tears
Knowing all of me I gave you
Was all I had left to give
When you walked away
Without looking back
Did you notice all the blood stains
From the knife you drove in my back

Your covered in my bloodstains
And you pushed me off the ledge

Winter cold

I want to remember everything you said to me
Even the beautiful lies that you led me to believe
Forever together
Nothing’s further from the truth
You sounded like an angel
When those words came out of you
Where would we be if life was fair
If stories never ended
If your soul the reaper spared?
Maybe I wouldn’t understand how to love
If the breaking of my heart hadn’t hurt ever this much
But your eyes still they haunt me
I still see you there, you know
When you come and walk beside me
Through the hollow nights I have come to know
We should have built that treehouse
Slept underneath the stars
Talked away the midnight hours
You should be holding me in your arms
And our daughter, what a treasure,
She has a gentleness to which none can compare
You should have seen her sparkle
In the dress she chose to wear
Your boy is the spitting image
Maybe that’s why I hold him so tight
I can see in the way he carries himself
He’s gonna turn out to be alright
But me, I’m just a loner
Driven by insatiable train of thoughts
Always reaching out to find you
Always forgetting it is me that is lost
Lost and going in circles
Frightened every corner I turn
And I’m desperately searching for something
But it slips away every time I try to hold
The cards are dealt among us
Why do I raise when I know I should fold
I’m fading along with your memory
Like this broken heart you long ago stole

My words are a mirror

My words are a mirror. Reflections of me.
Forcing you to look past my face.
Unravel each clue, don’t leave out any piece.
Uncover who I really can be.
There are times when I cover with “makeup”.
The blemishes I hold inside.
There are times that I put on a
smile.
When deep down I’m crying out why?
Things I say to mask the truth,
To appear to be in control.
Forcing myself to use words I don’t feel.
So you cannot see into my soul.
Free up this twisted,wicked one,
who talks to me inside my head.
Pretend to be on top of the world,
when I’m falling off the deep end.
Say something pretty, say something nice.
Something pleasant into your ear:
There’s a rainbow so vivid, it’s a beautiful sight.
But it’s not anywhere close to here.
I could tell you of things I’ve read in books,
or heard from the wisdom of old.
I could write you a sonnet with only white keys,
’cause the black ones hold stories untold.
Dance for you in the light of a candle;
Entice you with the touch of my hands.
Warm your body under the moonlight;
Flesh upon flesh-no need for more.
Nothing to hide, leaving it all exposed.
My place of refuge, only you I hold.
What do you want from me?
I have nothing more to give.
You watched me cry in the dark.
Saw me fall to pieces.
Put them back together.
Just to walk and leave.
He messed me up.
Had some miles in hell to cross.
Put me on a pedestal-
just to disappear when I fell.
Fight for me! don’t give in.
I promise I won’t hurt you again.
Afraid of getting to close to the fire,
Douse me with flames.
I’ll prove my love is true.
Let them talk-let them stare.
What they think- I really don’t care.
Ashamed of my doubts,
I was more than afraid.
I just need you for one more day.
Teach me how to trust, I don’t know how.
Force me to demolish these walls, I unknowingly put up now.
This is new to me,
I’ve had enough.
I can only take so much.
Lead and I will follow.
Your strength I’ll have to borrow.
Your kiss deceives your feelings.
My soul you are stealing.
Lest you forget,,,

02/12/13

Wanting, craving , desperately yearning for the ability to express what I feel
To know you understand each word I write and that I can take you to where it is real

Can you hear what I’m not saying? Can you read between the lines? Can you see the pain that I hide deep inside?

If you could pick one memory of mine,to explore to its fullest depths, would it be a happy moment or one of deep regret?

I can show you every laughter, every teardrop, every pain. I could take you to many places you’d never go to again.

I went dancing on a rooftop, I’ve been kissed in the pouring rain, held the hand of a loved one dying, laid to rest my eternal soulmate.

Would you linger on my retention, would you savor every point
Would you still judge me soo harshly
After seeing my world ripped apart?

I keep these all locked for a reason
Never should let anyone see
All the scars and emotional moments
That almost made me lose me

I cannot ever clearly explain
For my talent is but soo small
Id love to eloquently pen it all down
But I fear all I do is just sprawl

Would I find some relief in knowing that you find yourself feeling like me?Would you disappear like others before just be one more absentee?

No I think that it’s wise to keep your eyes blind, just keep living this “normal” facade, but a broken down girl who survived her cruel world at the least should get an applause

Inside a mind

If I could feel this much pain just by reading what you wrote,
I wonder how much more there is as you turn those emotions into words
Your put your hands over your eyes to prevent the tears from falling,
You try to hold your breath just to keep your mouth from screaming.

Trying to hold the pen straight had never been this hard from you,
Yet you kept on writing whatever’s left of what you thought was true
Agony tied you in chains and you’re losing hope you could break free
Memories of what used to be haunt you in your sleep and in reality

If I could, I’d take away your sorrow and carry it on my shoulder,
The past you wish to forget, I’d be the one to painfully remember
When you feel the world has deserted you,just call out my name
I’ll be there in a flash trying to make you feel okay

If its space that you need I’d let you have it and just wait here
I ask nothing in return but hope that better you will feel
How do I unbreak and unshatter the pieces of your heart
Tell me what I can say or do to make everything alright.

A fanatacy

love can change the brightest sky,turn it into darkest night.
love can conquer any fear,love can wipe the smallest tear.
love can open many scars,love can break the hardest heart.
love can save a rainy day,love can take your breath away.

Nothing can make me forget,how you felt, how much you meant.
Nothing can be quite the same,without your love my life’s modane..
I don’t know just what to do,to get me over losing you.
I can’t go on another day,this pain inside won’t go away.

around each corner,around each bend,I’m lost,confused,insane again,
everything is soo messed up,it’s like this pain is never enough,
just keeps on comming,stronger still,time itself,it doesn’t heal,
whoever said that must not have known,a love this deep cant be resown..

I guess that how this story ends,there’s no sequel,no time to spend.
There’s just a girl that’s left alone,to face this life of hers now unknown.
She’s falling down,she’s getting up,once running free,now needs a crutch.
She waits for someone who will never come,she wastes her life like a song that’s not sung.

so I guess its best to close this book,just walk away,no second look.
Just forget the dreams she use to have,and make the best of a life gone bad.
sit in silence and say her prayers,to her God in heaven and hope He hears,
and if she’s lucky He’ll grant her wish,but knows there are ones down here she’ll miss.

But thinks it would be easier still,to let it go,and cross the veil.
and never have to make amends,to all the people she’lll hurt in the end.
Life’s not what you make it,its a thief in the night.
takes what it wants in the blink of an eye.

So,,love can change the brightest sky,turn it into darkest night.
love can conquer any fear,love can wipe the smallest tear.
love can open many scars,love can break the hardest heart.
love can save a rainy day,love can take your breath away.