In order to be happy I must learn to accept myself. To embrace my flaws and realize that my individuality is what makes me unique. Not try to conform to be like everyone else. Clothing, hair, body size are all ways to show who I am as an individual. I’m not sure why I compare myself to others to determine my self worth. My differences are what make me beautiful. I find myself looking to others to give me completion. I must first be content to be with myself. Sometimes the best friend you can find is inside you. My work entailed hours of solitude in which I find myself having conversations where I am both the narrator and the audience. It often times makes me wonder if that is normal but I have solved many problems that way. Argued different sides to something to come to a conclusion which I can live with. Looking back can also be beneficial. As long as I don’t linger there too long wishing I could go back. But taking what lessons I’ve learned and incorporating them into the now can clarify my thought process. Daily acceptance of things and events going on which are beyond my control makes for a better day. Taking into account the grand picture of our world and realizing that I truly am blessed, even with the mountains to climb and the deserts to cross. To be able to provide for my children, as a widow, where in some countries I would be desolate and have to watch them slowly fade from malnutrition and disease. But it’s easy to turn a blind eye to others misfortunes because many times we just get wrapped up in our own worlds. Which is easy to do as that is where we exist. But every once in awhile we should take time to examine how fortunate we really are and it is then my problems don’t seem so overwhelming. Happiness is a state of mind just like anger, it can be self induced. Taking control over thoughts that are negative before they control me. So today I will be happy, and thankful for the life I have been given. With its rollercoaster ride and gains and losses, it is a good thing. It is too short to waste even a day of it.
Forever Broken 