Archive for Love

Changing tides

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , , , on 08/14/2013 by Forever_Broken

There’s a space-been erased in my heart that’s hollow
Memories dissipate-can’t retrace or foresee tomorrow
Taken back to the days where our love never knew sorrow
Now your gone-slipped away-there’s no trail to follow

Fought to breathe-left for dead
Yesterday haunts me in my head
Giving up-letting go
Taking back promises I told

I’m almost cutting the rope
Not holding on to false hope
Insatiable is your hold
Can’t reword what’s already told

Incurable disease is eating away my soul
Distressed actions flow forth from what hasn’t been sold
Waiting, biding my time til I’m numb from the cold
Tearing apart the reasons that never were told
Kiss me with your lifeless lips
Let me enter in that void
Fallen off flesh-my hands are stained
Keep me here til I’m destroyed

Hold me down no room to breathe
Carve into my body I won’t scream
Tracks I lay upon and wait for the rattle
No second thoughts turning back now is futile
Empty hollow voids where my eyes use to be
Heightened sense of feeling with my fingers I can see
Parade of fools where are they going
Bound tightly to their cause
If they think that love’s the answer
When they lose it, they will starve
Come undone, forgive the wrongs
Put a crown upon your head
You wear it well, your chest swells
But your living in a cell
A prison without a key
Soon you’ll see- don’t laugh to loud
He’ll come to take your smile
Life’s not fair and you’ll be scared
When the reaper comes to tear
Your castle down
Don’t cry those tears in front of me
I told you all along
Put the words into a rhythm and sang them into a song
So now you want to hear me
Need some advice from me to you?
Then listen up-I’m saying it quick
Don’t blink twice or you will miss

Whispering echoes linger on my ear
His voice, his touch, I can get so very near
The air turns cold yet a fire burns in me
Knowing all that’s left is all there’ll ever be
I cut my hair I cut my arms
Wrap them up gotta hide the harm
Relinquish your claim
It’s dark inside here
I’m convulsing from this anger
I want to remember who I use to be
I need release to be set free
Please don’t be mad
I love you so
No love left for me, that debt I still owe

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Poem in the dark

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , , , , , on 07/24/2013 by Forever_Broken

Is there a reason to hold on anymore?
Can there ever be something beyond all this pain?
My eyes have grown dim from the tears I hold in.
I push all aside. I don’t need this again.
I thought, just perhaps, there was beauty still waiting….
Until I began unwinding the noose.
Fire grew closer-I was breathing the fumes.
Seeing your face as you withered away.
I cannot do this.
No, not one single day.
No sleep for the weary.
No love that’s untouched.
By death’s cruel demise,
Caution is a must.
I let go of your memories,
For they only bring pain.
Making sense of this turmoil,
Emotionally, I am drained.
Blocked all your numbers,
I need not to see.
All the hurt you endure.
That’s all caused by me.
I started drifting, endlessly,
Even when I close my eyes.
Your stare haunts me.
Your memories still taunt me.
I want to speak;
To see if anyone is there.
To know if you can hear,
But my words become a puddle on the floor.
Drop by drop escaping my tired eyes,
I don’t know if I’m asleep or awake.
If I’m living or have died.
My heads on the ground.
The pain grows deeper.
My twisted way of thinking,
It is covered in black,
I can’t find my way back.
The birds have started singing.
So, I know I am not dreaming.
Another day to aimlessly travel;
Forging a life that is not my own.
No one knows.
I lie.
Hold tears inside,
No hero comes for me.
I must save myself.
But, I can hardly breathe.

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Changing tides

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , , , on 07/23/2013 by Forever_Broken

There’s a space-been erased in my heart that’s hollow
Memories dissipate-can’t retrace or foresee tomorrow
Taken back to the days where our love never knew sorrow
Now your gone-slipped away-there’s no trail to follow

Fought to breathe-left for dead
Yesterday haunts me in my head
Giving up-letting go
Taking back promises I told

I’m almost cutting the rope
Not holding on to false hope
Insatiable is your hold
Can’t reword what’s already told

Incurable disease is eating away my soul
Distressed actions flow forth from what hasn’t been sold
Waiting, biding my time til I’m numb from the cold
Tearing apart the reasons that never were told
Kiss me with your lifeless lips
Let me enter in that void
Fallen off flesh-my hands are stained
Keep me here til I’m destroyed

Hold me down no room to breathe
Carve into my body I won’t scream
Tracks I lay upon and wait for the rattle
No second thoughts turning back now is futile
Empty hollow voids where my eyes use to be
Heightened sense of feeling with my fingers I can see
Parade of fools where are they going
Bound tightly to their cause
If they think that love’s the answer
When they lose it, they will starve
Come undone, forgive the wrongs
Put a crown upon your head
You wear it well, your chest swells
But your living in a cell
A prison without a key
Soon you’ll see- don’t laugh to loud
He’ll come to take your smile
Life’s not fair and you’ll be scared
When the reaper comes to tear
Your castle down
Don’t cry those tears in front of me
I told you all along
Put the words into a rhythm and sang them into a song
So now you want to hear me
Need some advice from me to you?
Then listen up-I’m saying it quick
Don’t blink twice or you will miss

Whispering echoes linger on my ear
His voice, his touch, I can get so very near
The air turns cold yet a fire burns in me
Knowing all that’s left is all there’ll ever be
I cut my hair I cut my arms
Wrap them up gotta hide the harm
Relinquish your claim
It’s dark inside here
I’m convulsing from this anger
I want to remember who I use to be
I need release to be set free
Please don’t be mad
I love you so
No love left for me, that debt I still owe

20130723-182552.jpg

You cannot just have a piece of me

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , on 06/13/2013 by Forever_Broken

There is soo much more to me than I allow most people to see. I will keep a part of myself hidden for I have learned through experience that it is unlovable. You can love the way my hand feels in yours, the way I will care for you when your sick, even the way I tickle your toes with mine. My soft words of encouragement when your down, my laugh, my sincere words “I love you”, those are lovable. But the way I don’t sleep at night, to hear me cry in my sleep from the nightmares, my distant personality, you don’t want to know that part of me. I need someone who is able to love me as a whole, not just parts. So it’s best to just walk away, because to love and be abandoned is a lesson you don’t want to learn. But if you do, I hope it is a lot less painful for you than it was for me.

Turn the page

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , on 05/20/2013 by Forever_Broken

Turn the page, keep on writing
This spell on me is ever binding
The passion that is in my soul
Not through my lips but my fingers told
Travel through uncharted waters
The currents my map I do not halter
Just take each blow though I’m still standing
The bruises prove the hits are landing
Forget the wishes I use to have
Blindly move forward no lights on this path
Throwing pennies but missing the well
Aimed for heaven but ended in hell
Filled up with pain but always am silent
You tore me apart no way to deny it

Wanting more

Posted in photos with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on 05/14/2013 by Forever_Broken

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I want more. To be beautiful. To look in a mirror and be satisfied. Maybe if I go on a zero calorie diet I can achieve some sense of self acceptance. I never feel good enough. Not just in life but in physical appearance which is trite to most but confidence is something that was taken away from me years ago and again recently.

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I want someone to love and to love me through it all. Like my grandparents who are 92 and 90. Been married 70 years. My grandma (nana) has Alzheimer’s and my (pop pop) and been by her side daily. I want that. I would trade my eternal destiny, my entire soul, to find someone who adores me. The real me, faults and all. And there’s plenty of those, lmfao 🙂 so here is a pic of what I believe and wish everyone could have. COMMITMENT.

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Just a thought

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , on 05/08/2013 by Forever_Broken

Tell me, tell me is there ever going to be a change?
Show me, show me how to feel again I’m numb inside.
Just a spark is all I need to start a fire
To burn away this pain
But the truth is getting in the way
So ill have to make it to one more day

I can hear what your saying
Without you making a sound
The truth under the lies your telling
What you tried to hide I found
You pulled away when I tried to get closer
Broke me in pieces when I was finally whole
Erased me completely not even a memory
Left me empty inside my heart is stole

My life is broken my body is scarred
My eyes are blinded to this beautiful world
Blinking in the darkness looking for light
If I concentrate hard enough maybe I can get through this time
Maybe even make a fight worth fighting
Pain worth savoring
Life worth living
Joy worth holding
Never mind I was wrong
Ill always be alone
From the ground looking up
It doesn’t seem so far
To fly off to a better place
Find a new forsaken star

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Angel

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , on 05/07/2013 by Forever_Broken

She was an angel with a broken wing
You held her hand you heard her sing
You saw beyond the feathers on the ground
Made her feel like somehow she really belonged
You collected her tears when the diamonds fell
You held her up when she was falling to hell
She was your curse you were her savior
But nothing you did ever seemed to matter
For alone she sat on a distant cloud
Afraid of the height for she’d surely fall down
For wings don’t mend with time or care
And her eyes she cast down so to avoid all the stares
She wondered what it’d feel like to just let go
To hit the ground hard and not have to know
That she’d never fit in with the ones who could soar
Feel the breeze on her face or to land on the shore
So she cut off her wings and as her blood poured
She was thankful to not have to wake anymore

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Posted in feelings of a btoken heart, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on 05/01/2013 by Forever_Broken

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You broke me
I realize this now
I didn’t understand why I was having problems
But it all makes sense to me now
Glueing back together
The pieces on the ground
The shards they cut so deeply
To many to count they all cannot be found
Loneliness is something I live with
Though my house has many inside
Put on a facade they don’t know what I’m wearing
They never see the tears that I hide
Desperate to feel something
Other than this bleakness you left me in
Try to write down to figure out reasons
But there’s not enough ink in my pen
Cannot speak in the language your using
My dialect is foreign to you
Dictionaries don’t have correct meanings
Nothing I say can make sense to you
Your hold is a vice around my heart
Tighter it grows with each gasping breath
I pretend to be somewhere far away
Drive myself to where you’d always stay
Look for your eyes in the faces of strangers
Hear your voice growing weaker
Feel your touch from a distant memory
Grasp for the chance to open you up to me
How I want to run but would you go with me
I’d go anywhere if you promised you never leave
It’s been months but I still believe
That you are the one who was made for me
Desperate for truth I seek out the answer
Looking for ways to get past all your laughter
I’m just a grain of sand on a beach full of pebbles
Replaced so easily I understand
That the words that you said they meant nothing to you
How quickly I fell for the lie I believed was you
You should get an award
you did what no one else could do
It’s been a living hell with the absence of you
Didn’t get a goodbye just a pocket of tears
Didn’t get to hold on to anything
But a life full of regrets
Cleaning out my closet
Boxing things I’d think they’d want
Little pieces worth nothing
To remember the person they lost
I’m Slowly putting it all together
The plans coming to an end
Living is the death of me
And this they don’t understand

Song attempt??

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , , , , on 04/30/2013 by Forever_Broken

Vrs.1
I miss your voice
It use to make me tremble
And I miss the “we”
You and I used to resemble
Not even friends
So I can’t pretend
That I’m alright (cause you know I’m not alright)

Chorus
How did you move on, forget me, wipe my kiss off of your lips?
How do I get on, run off, like you didn’t even exist?
Thank you for breaking the one part I had that wasn’t wrong
Now ill just sit here writing memories like a bad song
Like we didn’t have love at all
Like we didn’t have love at all

Vrs.2
Remember when there was meaning in the word “mine”
Did you forget when it was on our side,,time
Are you surprised that I haven’t gotten on with my life
Or just wondering why your on my mind tonight
No I’m not alright.

Break
I fell into you when I was falling for the mr.wrongs
You knew me better than I knew myself all along
I guess leaving just was something that you do
It’s killing me inside because I hon-est-ly loved you

Chorus
How did you move on, forget me, wipe my kiss off of your lips?
How do I get on, run off, like you didn’t even exist?
Thank you for breaking the one part I had that wasn’t wrong
Now ill just sit here writing memories like a bad song
Like we didn’t have love at all
Like we didn’t have love at all