Archive for musing

March 18,2013

Posted in poetry,personal writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 03/18/2013 by Forever_Broken

I’m sitting here watching the hours pass
Farther away I’m growing
There’s no turning back
Trying to forget why I’m holding a tissue
Desperately feeling the break that is coming
Noone to console me I’ve torn down those bridges
Forgot how cruel a person can be
Gave away my love its too hard to retrieve
Speak out loud
No I’d rather remain silent
Pretend I’m doing good
My mind-you’ll never get inside it
Pleading with myself not to give it away
Save these confessions for another day
Lightning strikes and I just catch it
Run from danger-no I embrace it
Fearing nothing but fear itself
Escaping from traps that I’ve placed myself
Ruining my life you took yours away
You left like the others but you promised you’d stay
I don’t blame you at all
I’m not worth the time
But you made me believe that you really were mine
Going on solo isn’t the worst I’ve endured
I’ve burned many chapters but yours I’ve just torn
Too sad to smile too proud to admit it
But you became the reason for existence
Grew up to fast
Knew tragedy young
Saw death first hand
Blame myself all along
Must be worthless must be a joke
For everything I love disappears like smoke
Vapors faded, rainbows turned dull
Shades pulled on the windows can’t see through them at all
Dreaming of things I’d never repeat
If it was rated like a movie it couldn’t be PG
Restricted for only the ones not faint of heart
Those who can laugh when ones life is torn apart
It doesn’t seem real
Questions unanswered still
I’m guilty but don’t get an appeal
Times the only thing I can’t seem to kill
Ready to throw it all away
Staring at my reflection as it fades away
Dreading the coming of another day
my life’s running out as I beg you to stay
The time has come to prove that I’m done
No more games have to finish what I’ve begun
Retreading, rewriting wrong turns I’ve went down
You’ve left me no trail, your nowhere to be found
Closest I’ve been to feeling frustrated
Handing out answers but mine’s complicated
I don’t own any words they surely own me
Don’t need a prescription but its too blurry to see
Faithfully silenced I won’t utter a sound
Your wont hear my tears as they fall to the ground

02/04/13

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on 02/04/2013 by Forever_Broken

Another day anotheR tear falls
AnotheRday of unanswereD calls
Keeping busY to forget your face
No more to do I’vE already pled my case
Opening up boxes i should have left closeD
Taking back emotions your hands had stole
Walking in circles going nowhere fast
Not moving forward living in the past
Listening to your favorite tunes
everything you needed was in front of you
Pulling the elastic til it almosT snaps
Getting stucK in these complicated trapS
I asked you to stay but you left
You have my hearT without consent it’s theft
And youR days are good while mine are sour
Your thriving I’m dying like picked flowers
running out of words my thoughts are jumbled up
My throat is parched all’s left an empty cup
ill catch my tears in a bottle seal it with a kiss
throw it in the sewer let it sink in piss
Let the darkness overcome me
Embrace these feelings of disease
Turn the tables turn the page
Start havinG tolerable days
If it comes to me at night
Ill blow out the candles turn off the light
Your rising up I’m sinking down
Your acting cool I’m playing thE clown
That was thE last time I will ask you to calL
You don’t need me anymore I won’t crawl
I wont answeR if you knock on my Door
I wont let you hurt me Anymore