Stuck in a fog

I want to go
Anywhere but here
Get away from this fog
I need the air to be clear
I need to find forgiveness
I need some room to breathe
I need resuscitation
Lift me off of my knees
My bones they are so brittle
My skin is shallow grey
My eyes don’t shine like they use to
My voice does nothing but break
A place where the sun shines daily
Where laughter always flows freely
Future is promising
People are inspiring
Thats what I need.

I say whats on my mind
I talk to much
Takes skill to win at life
No need for luck
I cry because I’m mad I’m not in pain
Always outside-hide it in the rain

I’ll help you survive
I’ll take your hand
Never let go and I understand
How you feel we are on the same page
I’ll take the night watch you can have the day
Abandoned is what you’ll never be
Alone is not a word you’ll learn to read
Scars will disappear you have my word
Never will you again feel insecure

That would be nice
Don’t you think
If this fog wasn’t so dense
And a place existed that made such sence

Broken Locks

The locks have been broken
The storm is unleashed
Memories I had hidden
On my soul want to feast

Took off all my armor
Put my knife back in its sheaf
Felt the sun for a brief moment
Grew flowers were there was nothing but weeds

I guess I forgot to warn you
“Not everything is as it seems”
You never saw past the smiles
To the pain that lies underneath

And when that dam was shattered
When the floods came ravishing down
Left me alone to face the tempest
Water not air to inhale and drown

You didn’t agree to battle
Didn’t know I was already in war
How can you say that you know me
When you never even noticed the scars

Blaming you is not my intention
I’m shocked at the time that you stayed
I thought I had dealt with my demons
All this time they’ve been stalking their prey

My voice I want heard from the rooftops
No silencer put on this gun
I will say if only on paper
This will not be a rerun

I will not live in that darkness
Nor return to that place of shame
No regrets will come haunting my nightmares
I will look ahead to each brand new day

For yesterday’s only a memory
A reminder of what use to be
Some break from trying to stay there
While some of us try to break free

Lunch break

There’s a teardrop falling
Your name it is calling
Only empty echoes of the past
Your leaving you can’t turn back
I should be there but I can’t

Refuse to see you like this
Your standing at the abyss
So much left unsaid
We’ll meet up again when I’m dead
Unanswered prayers fall upon my head

Curse the ones that let you go
Erased my name from their vocabulary so-
They no more require an excuse
Give no reason for a different view
Helped tie the rope into a noose

Push the door closed, bound up and locked
Their memories faded, my gun is loaded and cocked

I stare at the emptiness I can see in my eyes
The reflection seems normal but it’s clearly a disguise

I want to touch something beautiful
Feel some warmth beneath my skin
But blackness clouds everything around me
Forgiveness un granted for all of my sins

My thoughts are fast
My pen is slow
Speaking in circles
Unable to show

I cannot stop it’s surely a disease
It weighs me down I can barely even breathe
Torn apart at the seams
my pretense you believe

Silence Broken

Silence broken/ I can hear your voice
It’s just a whisper,yeah, only a little noise
Drivin me crazy/ You wake me from my sleep
Try to forget you,yet, your still in my dreams
Lift up eyes/ Where am I headed now?
Unfamiliar steps moving me backwards somehow
You will not leave/ so I pour you a drink
Time’s not the only thing your killing/tonight your victim is me
Pull me into the memories that would have come to pass
Take me further down the road we traveled/I’m starting to forget
Quench this thirst-even with your poison-you can put this all to rest
Give me something to believe in for I have nothing left
Your name flows easily off these twisted lips
Your beauty never faded/you hold me captive with your kiss
Desperately clinging to hope that isn’t real
Hiding behind my visions reach/the words I utter you steal
Fighting the need to hold you in my arms once more
Cannot break free your hold is evermore
Tearing out the pages from the book you wrote for me
One by one into the fire, I will set my own self free
Tormented in the shadow of the questions never asked
Put my will back on the shelf/where it’s been laying since you left

Forget Your Worries

Forget your worries, smile today.
Let the rain wash your tears away.
Your beautiful just the way you are.
Even if you fade like a falling star.
Don’t think about tomorrow.
Don’t think about the past.
Just here and now is where your living at.
Don’t pick that flower, step over that ant.
Think maybe you can instead of you can’t.
Your never ever truly alone.
Look down at your side, there’s a hand you can hold.
Your special, unique, and that’s what makes you, you.
In the stillness of this moment your unbreakable too.
If you’d only lift your eyes up,
if you’d only stop to see.
All the strength it took to get here,
you have everything you need.
Yours scars just say your human.
Admitting your weak doesn’t make you frail.
Maybe, you can be that shoulder to cry on.
When somebody else is going through hell.
To feel the deepest emotions;
Many will never get to do
but you know how to treasure a smile.
For it seems there’s always so few.
So today, forget your worries.
Let the rain wash your tears away.
For your beautiful just the way you are
and I hope you never will change.