Getting it out

Today I am trying really hard to be self-sufficient. This is one of those days where I miss having a partner. My oldest boy,13, is pushing my buttons. I can’t give in which is the easiest thing to do. I have to stand my ground. I’m afraid at times I’m too hard or don’t spend enough time with him. I blame my work schedule which is an 55 hour week, every week. But that’s the minimum I can do to get by. Something’s gotta give. I miss feeling like someone cares. I know I isolate myself. I feel selfish if I spend time with others instead of my children. It’s a lose, lose situation. I just want them to be happy. I thought I had figured out some things but I guess I didn’t. I miss drowning my sorrows with dysfunctional habits. But being of sound mind has its benefits. I need positive energy. Even the music has a way if making me remember and miss. I just needed a few quiet minutes to get this out of my head. There is no better feeling than being loved. How I miss that.

2 Responses to “Getting it out”

  1. None better, my sister.

  2. I feel your pain. everyone needs to be loved. But some of us, and I include myself in that, are destined to walk a lonely path. For some the path may not be long, I pray in your case it isn’t, for others the path will be traveled this way until the end. Unfortunately that’s my destiny. But know this, in pain you know your alive.

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